One week down...forever to go....

Not in a bad way. I like my job(so far), but when I went back to work I never intended it to be forever. A means to an end, a temporary bump in the road. I enjoyed being a stay at home mom. I loved it. I hated going back to work, bit I did it for our family, for Jason. He always said when he worked his way back up to his army salary(plus any COLA increases) I could go back to being a SAHM.

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He told me this week he doesn't think I'll ever be a SAHM again. Or should I say he doesn't want me to be. He said he doesn't think our family will ever be able to survive on 1 salary again. I'm not sure why he thinks this because well...he doesn't pay the bills. He has NO idea the cost for anything in the house. He just uses the check card to buy what he wants unless I tell him to cool it. 98% of the time he doesn't even know when his payday is. So how can he say that he wouldn't be able to afford it again? It's times like these that I struggle. I struggle with the predicament he put our family in. I struggle to remain supportive and upbeat. I struggle. I don't WANT to work. I WANT to be home with my kids. Working in classrooms, organizing room parties, volunteering in the office. I want to clean the house, do the laundry, and grocery shop while they are at school so I don't have to take the time away from them to do it while they are home with me.

Honestly....

I want to go back to Sherman.
Pre-Army BS of course.
I was happiest there.
Why does hindsight have to be 20/20??