All about Jason

I always fill these out for myself, but I thought it would be fun to do one for my fella!
Here's to my hunny!

What is the love of your life's name? Jason
How did you meet? At Village Inn, we shared Dino Fingers
When did you meet? 1996
What were your first thoughts? That's the jerk who wouldn't talk to be at the bar!
What/where was your first date? Olive Garden
When did he/she meet your family? In July, my aunt Brenda showed him her boobs....long story
What did your family think?My mom liked him right away and I still swear she loves him more than she loves me! ;)
When did he/she meet your friends? He knew most of them already, and the rest he met right away
Have you talked about marriage yet?A few times:)
How long into the relationship was your first argument? I don't know
What did you argue about? I don't remember, we don't argue much, but when we do it's BAD!

THE FUN STUFF
Who flirted first? He did, he gave me the cheesiest, sweetest line ever
How did you know he/she was into you?He called me all the time
Did he/she use a pick-up line? If so, what was it? Yes
What is longest you have gone without seeing each other?8-10 weeks
Were you friends before dating? nope
Do you like the same sports teams?yep, we were just watching the draft together this afternoon
When did you meet his/her friends? I already knew all his friends
How do you feel about his/her friends? Is this present tense or past?
When you are both in the car, do you agree on the music? most of the time
Did you get nervous before the first date?yes, i really liked him

THE HARDSHIPS
Have you been through anything really tough together?Heavens YES!
Have you come close to breaking up? Once
Why did/do you feel it was/is important to work things out? Because he's my person(you have to watch Grey's to get this!)
Has he/she seen you cry? Of Course
Has he/she made you cry?of course
Have you made him/her cry? of course
What do you do to fix problems in your relationship? Pray, talk, tickle, laugh

THE PERSONAL STUFF
Who held hands first? no clue
What was the first kiss like? (on the cheek, the lips, etc.) wonderful
Who kissed who first? I think I kissed him, because he was taking forever to kiss me! He said it was b/c he liked me too much and wanted to take it slow:)
How did you feel after that first kiss?weak
How long into the relationship did you umm... do the "deed"?Um, I'm so not putting that out there.
Are things in the bedroom still 'hot'? Yes

HOW MUCH DO YOU REALLY KNOW? (About your partner...)
Birthday?July 13, 1975
Parent's names?Karen and Norm
Pet's Names? Joe and Vince
Favorite Food?Pizza and Wings
Favorite Song? Boston by Augustana
Favorite color? Blue and Green
Favorite Animal? Probably dogs, but he loves them all
Favorite TV Show? Sportscenter
Favorite sports team? Buffalo Bills
Favorite Movie? Shawshank Redemption
Dream Car? I don't know honestly ** I asked this question after the quiz, and it turns out I did know I just forgot!** He wants a 1970's Chevy C-10 2 tone-Orange and white :)
Where was he/she born? Cuba New York
Where did he/she grow up?East Coast, all over
Who is his/her best friend? Me
Worst Fear? That I wouldn't forgive him
Biggest Celebrity crush?Rachel Ray

Draft Day!

Today is the NFL draft. It's a big deal in our house.

I needed to go to work today, but couldn't b/c Jason had to work. So the kids and I hit the streets and went to Target and the grocery store. Then we went to a Men's cook off at our church. It was nice to hang out and let the children play. Jason just got home and now him and Jonathan are tuned into ESPN watching the draft.

I'm not sure what I will do. I'm thinking of cleaning my pigstye of a scraproom. I know I will feel better in the end, and maybe will actully sit down and scrap, but I don't really want to. I think I'm going to go lay on floor in the living room and chill with my boys.

Still Alive

Not much going on. Yet so much going on.
My head is full of thoughts
None I want to share
If you've called me and I haven't called back
I'm sorry
Same with e-mails
I'm taking a little time for me and family right now
We need it
I need it
It's all about the Hallock's for awhile
Actually, it's all about Jason and Angel
How selfish! I love it.
Slowly we will integrate others back into our lives
Not now though
This is the key to our survival

My head and heart are heavy....

I have so many emotions running through me. I think I have experienced every human emotion in the last week.....

fear
disbelief
anger
shock
fury
pain
hurt
peace
lonely
guilt
nervous
insecure
judged
contempt
empty
detached
abandoned
dejected
glorious
free
ecstatic
unsure
loved
unloved

Wheew! That's list, but I have felt them all. Some for longer than others...Some are not gone yet, just in smaller doses. I despise uncertainty. I have had to trust God more in the last 6 days then I ever had in my entire life. I felt him, my strength came from him. Even Jason said he knew he was there. It's hard to deny feelings like that. It's even more difficult when you are feeling all of the above emotions, AND trusting in God because of the circumstances causing the emotions.

It's not all figured out yet. If it ever will be. I am taking it day by day, minute by minute. Admittedly some minutes are better then others. I'll be doing great, then a flash or memory from nowhere attacks me and I'm reduced to silence and sometimes tears.

Praise God

People always talk about peace. How to get it. Where it comes from. It’s hard to get. Unless you know where to go. This morning I was about to throw up I was so apprehensive. I prayed for peace. I know others were praying for me too. No matter how hard you try to give something up to the Lord, human nature is to hold on to it. To fix it yourself. I know I can’t fix this alone. Honestly I don’t want to.

A very wise man said this to me:

You can’t fix this, only God can;
you can’t control this, only God can;

If you know me at all you know this is hard for me. So hard. I’m a fixer, I’m always in control….but I’m not right now. Part of me is going insane! I need to fix this! I need to make it right. Then there is another part…the part that is hard to hear…that part that says….

You helped break it....

only God can fix it…

only he can make it better…

give it to him…

your hurt…
your anger…
your frustration….
your guilt….
your trust…
your life…
your love…
give it all to Him……..

3 weeks....

That's a long time for no blog. I haven't felt like it. Nothing good to say. Plus I have been trying to limit my time on the puter.

Work is going well. I've pretty much grasped the concept of what I do. It's not hard. I only have questions when something is out of the ordinary. I can put on my cruise control and work all day with out much thought. That has come in handy a few times in the past few weeks. They have approved OT until the end of the month, so I'm going to try and get as much as possible. I'll need it for my deductible.

Yes, deductible. Last night a bad storm blew through with golf ball size hail. Wouldn't you know some of that hail found it's way to my windshield. Go figure. Thank the Lord I only have a 250 deducible. Not sure how much windshields cost...I'll call USAA today and start the process.

We got our new bed :) It's a queen size, adjustable sleep number bed. It was hard for us to go from a King to Queen, but I really wanted the adjustable. I'm so glad I did too! Totally worth it. I love that I can sit up in bed and watch to TV! Plus it has a massage function..... If anyone is on the fence about one of these baby's, don't be! Call Jason right now and order one. HE can ship anywhere.
www.selectcomfort.com

Beef.....it's no longer what is for dinner. Bison all the way baby! I had a bison burger in our cafeteria at work the other day and it ROCKED! Bison has way lower fat and calories then beef, turkey, and chicken. Basically any other animal :) And it's good! Beef has always had funny taste to me, but the bison didn't. It was so good. Now the bad part...it's so $$$$. Eating healthy costs so much money. I think that's the plan. That way you can't afford to eat junk in your time of weakness! I've been pretty dedicated for 2 weeks and I've lost 7 lbs. Only 105 to go! Wish me luck. If I can keep up this pace I'll be at my goal weight in 7.5 months.

I got my e-mail yesterday at work to sign up for benefits. AKA..insurance. I can not believe I will have to pay for medical coverage. Never in my adult life have I paid for medical. That is the 1(yes 1) thing I truly miss about Jason being in the service. Thankfully Countrywide has several p;ans to choose from based on your needs. So I have been a researching fool. Jason's job offers it too, but it's more expensive. His dental is better, we'll get that through his job. I'm going to try and get my sister a job at CW. She needs the insurance BAD! She's falling apart. Seriously, I just picked her arm up off the floor...I hate when she leaves her body parts laying around...hehehehhe. But seriously, she needs insurance.

Happy Saturday my friends.