Crying

that's what i've felt like doing all day. it's so not like me. i mean i'm a sentimental crier, movies and such, but to in general just cry? no way. i don't do public displays of emotion. all day, i'll i've wanted to do is sob uncontrollably. but i haven't. what good would it do? it's pointless. it doesn't fix anything, it certainly doesn't make me feel better. it'd just make me feel crappier, cause i'd get a headache. i wish it would just go away, but it hasn't. i've been trying to shake it all day. and it's still here. part of me says, cry. then the feeling would go away. my other part says, stop being such a baby and suck it up. for those of you who don't know me very well, suck it up is my motto. suck it up and pray. that's what i say. can't change anything any other way. so i'm sucking, i'm going to try and busy myself so i don't think about the undeniable, uncontrollable urge to break down.