Sometimes I feel as if we have bad luck that will never end. We are not those people that good things just happen to.  We have to fight tooth and nail for every bit of good that happens.  I'm pretty tired of it.  Long story short, we got a letter last week that jepordizes our tax return.  Big Surprise right?  We should known that something would come up and we wouldn't be able to get a 2nd vehicle.  That would be to easy and nothing has been easy for us in years!

We don't know yet how this will all play out.  We may still end up with our return, or we may not.  Who knows.  I'm doing my very best to not stress and to give it to God.  I won't lie it's HARD.  I'm tired of something always messing crap up!

So you want an update...

Let's see what I can ramble about...

Jason's new semester started yesterday.  AGH.  It's gonna be rough.  He has class M-Th in the evenings.  I have been going to the gym at night, so now I have to change up my workout schedule.  Which means...videos at home!  Should be....FUN...right? Ya, fun.

For Christmas, my AWESOME sister gave Jason and I a GC to local spa for massages.  So we are going on Saturday.  Jason is getting a regular massage and I'm going a deep pressure massage.  SO excited about this!!

I have an appt next Thursday at a dermatologist to get my tattoos looked at.  I want to see about getting them removed.  They are dumb and I hate them.  When I get to my goal weight(23.8 pounds!) I want to get an orange lily on my back, and I want these 2 stupid ones gone!  Since they are at home ones, they shouldn't be hard to remove. I guess we'll see!

Savannah won her class spelling bee, and is moving on to the school spelling be to represent for the 3rd grade!  I'm so proud of that girl!

I found out last week that my sister is having a BOY!  I can't wait to give that baby some Auntie love.  I think being an Aunt is second only to being a grandma(I hope!)  So excited to snuggle baby Nate!

Only 2 months until we head to Alabama(with a stop in MO.)  I'm SO excited!  It's looking like we'll get a descent tax return, so we should be cruising in our new to us mini van.  Pray, pray, pray for that!!!

Anything I'm missing?  Anything your inquiring minds want to know?

Cleaning out the closets

I have decided to clean out my closets.  Anything that is size 16 or higher and size XXL is gone.  Some of it still fits, but I'm not keeping it!  14's and L/XL fit so why keep all that other stuff?  I'm still at 43-44 pounds lost.  I was hoping to be at 50 by the 18th of January. That's my 1 year mark.  I'm still going to try and get there, however I've been SO bad lately.  Cheatin, cheatin, cheatin, I've been eating like crazy!  I need to get back on the wagon.  I still have 25 pounds to lose!

My Goals

I'm so glad to see every one's goals on their blogs!  Great job Teresa and Shannon.  You're my favorites :O)

Here are mine:


Family/Life-   
      1.  Spend more quality time with my family.  We are always "together", but not enjoying each other's company. I want us to grow closer and learn to depend on each other more.  Both the big kids are getting to the point where their friends and being away from home is becoming more important to them.  I want to reiterate that family is #1, that your sister, mom, dad, brother, cousin comes before your friends.  No matter what, end of story.  To do this we are going to have family game night once per week.  Each week 1 person will get to choose dinner and the game and we'll spend 2-3 hours with NO electronics.  No itouches, no ipads, no phones, no computers, no TV. Nothing.  Not even background music.  I want to encourage conversation and interaction.
      2. Read 1 self-improvement book per month.  I'm currently reading, The 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership.  So far it's great.  I know I'm a good person, I want to be a GREAT person and reading books from other great people will help me to become the person I want to be.
       3. I want to spend more quality time with my husband. In the day to day life of raising a family, working and school, it's easy to lose track of each other.  Our relationship is the strongest it's ever been, it can always get stronger though.  I want to go out at least once per month, just us.  I want to do stuff that will allow us to interact with each other, not just sit in a movie theater.


Business/Work- 
    1. I will put forth more effort in my daily work.  I'm lazy about entering notes into our lead management system.  I will make this a habit as well as staying on top of my mailings.  I will utilize the phone more than e-mail to contact our clients.  This will make their experience with us more personal.
     2. To focus on building relationships with those that drive me the most crazy in the office.  To try to understand things from their point of view and to not let the little things get to me.


Spiritual-
    1. To find and become involved in a Church.  It's been almost 4 years since we left Meadowridge.  That was our Church in Texas that we were very involved in.  We have went to some here and there but nothing that stuck.  Having a Church family, receiving the Word every week, and being accountable for my behavior is so important with my walk with the Lord.  I will pray more, read the Word more and be more aware of my actions.  Drawing closer to God will make me a better wife, mother, friend and person in general.  Not to mention I miss Him.  I miss being close to Him.  We all know it wasn't Him that moved....
    2. To do a bible study that has me in the word daily.  I'm not sure what that will be yet, I still have to find one.  I want something that's going to help me grow as a child of God, and get me more involved in my Bible.


Health-(This is my easiest one!)
    1. Run More-  I have 3 very specific running goals for 2011.  If you haven't already read them you can check them out here.
     2. I want to lose at least 29 more pounds.  I will do this by running, working out and weights.  I would like to work out 4-6 days per week.
Financial-
     1. To have at least $1,000 in savings by the end of 2011.  It's not a lot, however with our tight budget, this will be a challenge.  I'm tired of not having a savings account.  We live on a wing and a prayer ALOT.  
     2. Improve our credit.  I'm not looking to buy anything big on credit.  I just want to build credit for when we decide to.  We only have $1,000 in credit card debt, it's to much for me though!  I want to get that paid off and use it only for our monthly subscription to nexflix.  That way we can pay it off every month.
     3. Buy a 2nd car.  I was hoping this would be a newer mini-van.  With the slap in face the VA gave us, that's not going to happen :O(  However, we are still looking forward to purchasing a 2nd vehicle cash with our tax return.  As long as it looks descent and runs, I'll be happy.  No payments is good :O)


There you go!  It's all out there for you to help hold me accountable.  Be sure to ask me how it's going.  That's how I'll know that you care :O)

Coastin'

This week I realized I was just coastin' through life. Coastin' isn't bad, however in my opinion it isn't good either.  Coastin' is comfortable.  Coastin' is easy.  When you coast no one expects anything of you.  You know what else happens?  You just coast.  You don't go anywhere.  No upward movement is happening in your life when you coast.  When you coast you are not moving towards anything, you are not working towards anything, you are not going anywhere.  You're just coastin'!  I don't want to coast any more.


I want to move on to bigger and better things.  I want to make myself, my life, my marriage, my job, my friends, my children, my relationships better.  Of course everybody WANTS that, if you ask people what they are doing to make it happen 9/10 will give you a blank stare and studder something unintelligible.  Why?  Because they're coastin'!  They are are not actively pursuing their dreams, goals, and desires.  They expect for all the things they want to just appear.  We all know they won't, I know, you know, THEY know...  It's easier that way.  If you don't try, you can't fail.


I'm tired of living in fear of failure.  Failure isn't bad.  Failure is a learning experience.  If you've failed at least you've tried.  The majority is to scared to even try because they don't want to fail.  They'd rather coast.  
2011 is the year I end the coastin'!  I have been educated and have found that there are 5 major areas that everyone who is not coastin' should have goals in.  They are:


Business/Work
Family/Life
Spiritual
Health
Financial


Do you have at least 1 goal in each of those categories?  I don't.  Take financial for instance.  I want more money, I don't have a plan for more money.  That's coastin'.   I'm going to post my goals in each of those categories for all of you to see.  Why? Several reasons.  Accountability is the biggest.  If you don't put your plans, goals, dreams, desires out there you have no one to cheer for you, no one to tell you when you're getting off track, and no one to pick you up when you fall down(b/c I will, everyone does). Secondly, I love all of you who read these blog, and I want you to get goals.  I want you to stop coastin' and move on up in the world.  I know none of you are where you want to be, none of you are at the peak of your life.  We can all stand to improve and I want to improve with you.  I will be posting my goals over the next few days and I would LOVE it if ya'll post yours too.  Accountability.  It's what makes the world go 'round.

Best Christmas Ever!

This Christmas definitely rated up there as one of the best Christmas's ever!  Why you ask?  Was it the ipad? The rings? The pumpkin roll?  Nope.  It was dishtowels.  Beautiful, lovely, hand embroidered dish towels given to me by my Grammie.

When I was a little girl my Grammie embroidered all the time.  I had pillow cases,  she had dishtowels, she made wall hangings.  I used to love to look at the rainbow of colored thread in her many boxes.  She has mentioned periodically over the years how she misses embroidering, but that her eyesight isn't what it used to be, and the small stitching is hard on her eyes.  This makes me sad.  In my heart I refuse to believe my Grammie is growing older, but in my mind I know.  I see the age spots, the slight shake of the hand, I notice that sometimes I have to speak louder than I used to and she forgets things...  She's almost 72.  She's still in amazing health for 72, she can still do ALOT.  She cares for Harri, she keeps up her house and half of ours!  She is amazing.

Back to the dish towels.  When I opened the box and saw the little lady in an embroidered orange dress...I lost it.  They were just like the ones my Grammie made herself when I was little.  Looking at them made every single happy childhood memory I had with my Grammie come flooding back.  I was so surprised and honored that she made them for me.  The sacrifice of her time, the detail that went into them that must have strained her aging eyes and hands.  I am completely and totally humbled by this gift, they are by far my favorite gift from this Christmas.

More Christmas!

It's the most wonderful time of the year.  It still doesn't feel 100% like Christmas b/c we still don't have snow, although we have plenty of cold!!  I'm SO excited for Jason and the kids to open their gifts on Christmas morning.  I worked hard to make this an awesome Christmas and I think that it will be!

Tomorrow I'm going to try my hand at....making a pumpkin roll!  I love them, and they only sell them at Thanksgiving, so I'm going to try and make one for Christmas dinner.

Not much else is going on.  I'm pretty excited for 2011. I'm still working on my goals, I'll post those next week.  They are nothing crazy though. In 2011 we are going back to Alabama to see my Amy.  Woot-woot!  We were hoping to buy a van, but we'll see... That whole VA thing may have put a wrench in that.   In 2011 I will celebrate FIFTEEN years with the man God made just for me.  We talked about a cruise, but we'll have to see how everything works out later in the year.

My Life

This is one of my favorite quotes:

We're all given terrible trials sometimes, things we think will break our spirit and kill us, and they make us stronger in the end. They seem like the cruelest blows, but in a funny way they're like compliments from God. If he didn't love you and believe in you, He wouldn't give you challenges like this. They're opportunities for Grace.


This is one of my favorite quotes ever.  Reading it and re-reading it has gotten me through me very rough times.  I would love to tell you that it was spoken by some neat person at time of terrible strife, however I got it from a Danielle Steele novel :O)

Yet again this week we were punched in the gut by VA.  I am truly starting to hate our country and their treatment of vets.  Their total disregard for the soldier/student is appalling.  They constantly F up, we have to scramble b/c of their mistake, and they have struck the Hallock's AGAIN!  It's a long story but it comes down to this.  They over paid us by $5,400 and they want their money back, like yesterday.  So, they will take our housing allowance for the next 8 months to recoup their money.  Yup, $1,000 a month less in the Hallock Family pocket due to their mistake that should have been caught during Jason's certification period.

Needless to say, I about went crazy when I heard this.  It's not like we were living high on the hog to begin with.  We have been very wise with our money to be able to get Jason through school.  I initially freaked at the thought of losing that much money per month, WTF were we gonna do??  After much talking, planning, and budgeting I think we have it figured out.  It's gonna be tight(duh!), but I'm confident we'll be okay.

Today, Jason and I went out to finish up our C-mas shopping.  So much fun.  We have almost everything!!  I have to go to Bed, Bath and Beyond this week to get 1 thing for the kids, then my grandparents and Jason's stocking and I'm done :O)  I'm so excited!!  It hasn't snowed at all, which is inhibiting my Christmas spirit.  It just doesn't FEEL like Christmas to me yet.  Hopefully the next 7 days will get me in the mood :O)

Christmas List

One of my friends put her Christmas list on her blog, and I thought it was a cute idea, so here we go..

1. Brown knee high boots
2. New wedding rings
3. A new comforter set
4. Taylor Tickets(although they are not even on sale yet!Sept. 24th BABY!)
5. Fake Bake sessions

This was HARD, I don't really WANT for anything!  That's a massive blessing.  What's on your list this year?

Christmas!

I'm so excited for Christmas this year!  We have planned and saved so everyone in our family can have a good Christmas and I'm pretty excited.  Yesterday we started our first round of Christmas treats.  I don't like to bake, but I love to do non-baking treats.  We did Puppy chow and holiday rice krispy treats yesterday.  Next weekend will be dipped pretzels and peanut butter balls.  We'll do fudge too!  It's going to be hard to keep from gaining weight, but my goal through the end of the year is to maintain.  I've gotten back to running.  This week is the last week of my trainer :O(  She has decided to stop personal training and focus on her studies and other jobs.  I don't care for any of the other trainers, so my plan is to keep it up on my own.  I know what to do now, I just really like her accountability.  I've been doing lots of interval runs on the TM.  I'll do a 10 minute mile for .10 of a mile, then a recovery walk for .05 of a mile, it's tough!  It's been giving me a 12 minute mile average, which is faster than I have been able to do on my own.  At the end of 2 miles I'm dripping sweat!  Yesterday I even up'd it to 9:30 min mile for a little bit.  It's tough, but it's a nice change.

Tough

Next semester is going to be tough.  Jason will be starting classes for his major which are conveniently all at night.  Note: Conveniently is said which sarcasm. :O)

He has 1 day class and 4 night classes. Ick.  That means no family time and no gym/running time at night.  I'm gonna have to go back to 6:30 am training sessions and running in the morning.  Thankfully the running will be at the gym in the warm, b/c it's gonna be cold out!! We will really have to learn to cherish weekends as family time.  Monday-Thursday will be Momma gets home, we eat diner, and Daddy leaves for school.  It's gonna stink.  I keep reminding Jason and myself that it's means to an end! I just hope all his classes for the next 2 years aren't at night.  That will really suck!

GOTR Part 2

I got an e-mali today stating there was a already a chapter in process for our county!  Whoo-hoo!  I really didn't want to start and head up a new one.  I am excited to volunteer and coach for this one though.  Everything should be a approved by the end of the month.  Then we will start meeting, and hopefully be able to have our first season come fall!

Girls on the Run

Through random clicking of pages that my friends have "liked"  I found Girls on the Run.  Upon entering their site and reading what they do, I was hooked.  This is their mission statement:

To educate and prepare girls for a life time of self-respect and healthy living.

It gives me chills, seriously.  It's a 12 week program that not only trains 3rd-8th grade girls to run a 5k it encourages them to make wise choices.

This is the objective:

The objective of Girls on the Run is to educate and empower girls at an early age in order to prevent the display of at-risk activities in the future. At risk activities include substance/alcohol use, eating disorders, early onset of sexual activity, sedentary lifestyle, depression, suicide attempts and confrontations with the juvenile justice system. 

This is a program after my own heart!!  I click locations...only 2 chapters in Kansas, and they are FAR away!!  :O(  What's a girl to do??  Why click the "start your own chapter" button of course!  I'm waiting for them to send me information about starting a chapter in my county.  I don't know what goes into it, I don't know anything about running a non-profit organization, but I do know I haven't been this fired up about something in a long time.    

I'm excited to find out more about the program and any way that I can get involved.

Almost back where I was

After I had Harri I lost 63 pounds.  I swore it wouldn't come back on, but it did(at least most of it)   :O(
At the beginning of this year I decided I was going to take it off, again.  Right now I'm about 8 pounds more that what my lowest was after I had H.  Who-hoo!  I'm going to keep working with the trainer, I'm going to pick my running again.  I'd like to lose 25-30 more pounds.  That'll be my focus after the first of the year.

You know what drives me insane?

1. People who bitch all the time they are broke, yet are always buying "stuff". If you have money for that "stuff" you are NOT broke! If your heat is getting turned off, that's broke. If it's getting turned off b/c you don't have money to pay it b/c of the "stuff" you bought, well, you're just plain stupid. I've been seeing this "trend" on FB a lot lately and I'm sure it's only going to get worse as Christmas grows near. We have 3 children in a 1 income household while Jason goes to school. Money is tight, times are tough, but we are making due. They can too. I'm afraid I may have to block some people. I'm not gonna wanna hear about how much their kids C-mas gifts are and how expensive they are and how they can't afford them. THEN DON'T BUY THEM!! Geez, go teach your kids the real meaning of Christmas this year then.

2. Our family learned the very hard way alcohol gets you NOWHERE. There is a girl I know that her idea of "quality time" with her husband is getting drunk. Is it just me or does that seem wrong? Don't get me wrong, I like to have a few, a few times a YEAR! Yes, my average drinking nights range 2-4 a YEAR and I'm proud of that. If I have to get drunk to enjoy my husband what does that say about our relationship? When she told me that, I just looked at her like she was a retard. I can't fathom. Maybe it's the fact that both of my parents are alcoholics...I don't know, but it's not something I do often. I don't have to drink to have fun, It's expensive, when I do drink it makes me sick, and I end up saying shit that doesn't need to be said. Gee, that sounds fun.

3. Perhaps it's the eternal optimist in me or the very high anti bullshit level, either way I can't stand whining. Your life is not that bad. That's what I want to say to all these people. Or you got yourself into this mess, so shut up. I know, compassion is not my strong point. I just don't feel bad for people who makes choices then whines about the consequences. If I can spend the extra 3 1/2 minutes to think about my decisions you can too. If I can be a grown up and realize I made the choices that put me here you can too. When I tell people this I get the, "I'm not as strong as you" crap. Let me tell you a secret. YOU ARE AS STRONG AS YOU CHOOSE TO BE. You CHOOSE not to be strong b/c it's easier, b/c you can whine more, b/c people will feel bad and help you. It's your CHOICE.

Ever had so much to say, yet you know you'll never say it?

I feel like I could verbally vomit on numerous topics. I am feeling annoyed at most aspects of my life right now. I'm so done. I seriously want to tell everyone to just "Shut the Fuck Up!"

Do you how much much better I would feel if I could do that? I already feel a little better just typing it :O)

Bragger

I totally have to brag about my kiddos. We had parent/teacher conferences this week and they are both doing amazing. Jonathan, received 4 A's and 2 B's. His teacher said he is bright, helpful, responsible and an overall great student. His only downfall? Chatting. He's a talker. 3 of his 6 teachers have commented on his "excessive" talking in class. His homeroom teacher even said that his name has come up every month for student of the month, however he has yet to receive it due to his excessive talking.

Savannah is a whiz. She is 1/4 of the way through her 3rd grade year and her standardized tests have her at the middle of 4th grade for reading, math, and language. I knew she was smart but, WOW! Her reading has really picked up this year too. She's reading 4.4-4.8 books right now. She blows through books on her own level. I've stopped buying books as much b/c she reads them to fast. Totally reminds me of myself as a child.

Harrison-I was supposed to meet with Ms. Carla for how he is doing at school, but it got rescheduled. However I assure you he is a genius too!

I'm doing something different

So far it's going well. I'm hesitant about sharing, b/c everyone has an opinion and I don't really feel like listening to them right now. Once all is said and done I may share, but that's weeks away. It's nothing bad, don't worry. In the long run I believe it's going to be a very good thing :O)

I love my birthday!

Birthdays are special. I try to make them special for those around me and I love it when others make mine special. I actually got to have a 2 day birthday this year :O) On Tuesday my office took me to lunch at Olive Garden, where I received an orange cake and a $15 itunes GC! Whoo-hoo! Then that night Jason took me to dinner and gave me my next 8 weeks of training sessions. Double Yay! After 2 doses of Alfredo in one day, I got my ass handed to me at the trainer! My legs still hurt! On my birthday morning, the kids presented me with their gifts. A running shirt, sunglasses, a super cute hat, and an orange loofah! I loved it all! I worked and went to lunch with Jason, then home for a quiet evening of hanging out and grocery shopping. I love my life. Thank you all of you who sent birthday wishes.

hmmmm...

Sometimes, I hate Facebook. It makes me feel like I have nothing to blog about when I come here, b/c most everything is already out over there. I have to really rack my brain for "new" news. Let's see...

I had a couple of rough weeks at work awhile back. The kind of days where you don't want to get up and go to work. That's never happened to be before at this job. I've always loved my job. Those few weeks though...I was half tempted to look for another position. I worked through it and talked to my boss(who is awesome) and I feel much better now. Next month I'll have been there 18 months. 18 months and no raise. Don't get me wrong I've had bonuses, but not an hourly raise. So, I will be putting on my big girl panties and asking for one. Agh! So not in my comfort zone. Running is going better. I'm back on the saddle. I feel really weird not doing the long distances that I once was, but I have to remind myself that I'm not training for a marathon anymore so 10 mile runs are no longer necessary! I set my own personal record yesterday at the Susan G. Koman 5k. Pretty excited about that one :O)

Jason is looking to change his major...again. I truly don't care as long as he's happy. I just want him to hurry up and be done. I'll be excited to live like normal people again. The kids are doing well. Jonathan is rocking the 6th grade. He has 5 A's and 2 B's. At progress report time he had 7 A's so I'm riding him hard to get those B's back up. Savannah is doing awesome academically, but it's her attitude that is causing trouble. She's always getting "yellows" for talking, and talking back. Harrison is about as perfect and wonderful as they come!! He's talking way more now and understands most everything you say to him. He's the puzzle master. He has 4 wood puzzles that he loves. He goes to "school" 2x a week for 1/2 a day and I think it's great for him to have children his size around. He's so used to playing with the big kids I often worry about how he'll do once he gets into kindergarten and has to play nice with others.

I'm super ready for fall! Cooler running temps and SOUP! I made homemade potato soup tonight. It was pretty delish. It was almost a disaster though. I only had wheat flour and I had no idea how that was going to play out... It made the soup thicker so I had to add more water and bouillon, then added more spices to compensate for the more water. It turned out pretty good if I do say so myself(and I do!)