Nervous Breakdown

Tonight on the way home from work I was talking to Josh and Pam(my 2 bosses).  They are heading back from St.Louis where they attended a CEO Boot Camp with our coaching company.  I was supposed to go, but decided  the last minute to stay back b/c we had 6 closing n 3 days.  Anyway, Josh asks me when I'm going to get my real estate license.  He purchased the course for me in August.  My original goal was to have it done the end of October.  I'm so far behind.  I 'm so tired.  I feel so overwhelmed.  Like someone always wants a piece of me. There's no down time.  No rest time.  Always go-go-go.  Work is non stop.  I barely eat lunch most days, I come home and it's family stuff, then bed.  Week ends are full of errands, cleaning, sports, family time.  It's not that I don't love this life I lead, I do.  It's just a very busy life.  So when Josh asked me when I would could commit to getting it done, I said the end of Jan., then he said the end of Dec.  I said no way, and then I broke down crying and babbled on about all the stuff I have going in  my life.  I would love to just have a weekend away.  I don't wanna sight see, I don't want to "vacation"  I want to sleep.  Be lazy.  NOT clean.  NOT  check e-mail.  Just be.  With nobody asking me for anything, expecting anything.  It's selfish to feel that way.  Terribly selfish.  I've spent 15 years devoting almost every moment of my life, existence, soul, heart, blood, tears and sweat to my family, to others.  I don't want to change that.  I just want to start devoting time to myself too.  To read, to sleep, to learn new things, to be alone without having to justify it.  I mean should I really have to ASK people to leave the bathroom and let me pee in peace?? NO.  I think I made Josh feel bad.  He told me we'd talk about the class later and then sent a text saying that he didn't mean to make me cry. I know he didn't.  It was just the straw that broke the camels back this week at work has been so stressful and busy.  I'm exhausted.  Tomorrow night we have this big company evening planned for exceeded our goal in November.  A party bus to drive us to the swankiest Christmas light displays in town, then back to Kanai, the BEST Sushi in town hands down.  It's going to be awesome and you know what?  I don't want to go.  I mean I do, but I don't.  I really want to stay home and relax.  I won't though.  I'll go, I'll have fun, and on Sunday I'll be exhausted.