Jason and my grandmother have both mentioned the last few days that I haven't seemed myself. I feel great, I feel blessed and happy with all that God has given me. The only thing I can figure...I'm exhausted. Straight up tired, all the time. I don't sleep enough. Athletes(sounds so bizarre calling myself that!) require no less than 8 hours per night. I rarely ever get that. According to my runners mag, it should a non negotiable subject. Sleep at least 8 hours. That's when your body recovers. Lord knows I need recovery, but I'm lucky to get in 7 hours. Between getting up to run, work, baseball, softball, trainer, house work, running around, yoga, I feel like I don't have time to do anything! Tuesday is Savannah's last game. I'm so thankful for this! Tuesdays and Thursdays are a beating. Up at 6, run to the gym, trainer from 6:30-7, Home to shower and get everyone ready, out the door at 8:15. Work from 9-5, Home at 5:30, load up the car, game at 6, game at 7:30, home at 9. Drop dead. Notice there's no dinner in there? Normally it's drive thru or nothing. Then at 9 everybody is sweaty, tired, and cranky from being at the ball fields. By the time all the showers have been taken, dinner has been eaten, and everyone is in bed it's 10:30. Then I'm back up at 4;45 the next morning to run.
I'm not complaining, I love my life. I'm just stating facts. We are busy. Multiple kids, in multiple activities, make for one tired mama. Then when the mama decides to have multiple activities too, well then it becomes a whirl wind! I'm not giving up my stuff though. I see to many woman sacrifice for their husbands and children. Which isn't always a bad thing, but some people take it to extreme. You don't have to give up everything for your family. Let's me honest here, would they give up everything for you? Probably not. So, I'm keeping my busy schedule. I'm just gonna do my best to slip in more sleep.
Sunday, June 27, 2010
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
Wheew!
It's been awhile. I apologize for that. We've been busy. Nothing crazy, the normal stuff. Games on Tuesday and Thursday, class on Monday and Wednesday. I, of course, work full time. Add in there my workout schedule(I'll put that on the other blog) and we are go, go, go!!
I haven't spoken to my mother since the happening on the last post. She called later that day has probably called 7 times since then. I'm just not ready for it. I don't want to be ugly, and I'm still angry enough to let my tongue get the best of me. So I don't answer. I will have to speak to her soon since my sister is due to give birth in the next 2 weeks.
Hmmm, not much else. I've had a lifetime of excitement and I'm super grateful for the boring life we lead. I love the craziness of kids, games, work, class, and everything else that we do. I'll try to find more to blog about soon, but you can read my 500 other blogs tonight to get more info. I'm going to try and update them all!
I haven't spoken to my mother since the happening on the last post. She called later that day has probably called 7 times since then. I'm just not ready for it. I don't want to be ugly, and I'm still angry enough to let my tongue get the best of me. So I don't answer. I will have to speak to her soon since my sister is due to give birth in the next 2 weeks.
Hmmm, not much else. I've had a lifetime of excitement and I'm super grateful for the boring life we lead. I love the craziness of kids, games, work, class, and everything else that we do. I'll try to find more to blog about soon, but you can read my 500 other blogs tonight to get more info. I'm going to try and update them all!
Saturday, May 29, 2010
Alcohol
I first want to post a disclaimer. The following blog is my opinion. Everyone has different opinions. I'm not posting this to pick on anyone(except my parents) if something happens to apply to you, I'm not posting about it on purpose or calling you out. This blog is about me, my parents and how their alcoholism has and continues to effect my life.
I don't drink. Not to say I never did, everyone has their wild and crazy days. Honestly, mine were before I was even able to drink legally. Now at the ripe old age of 31, I drink on very rare occasions. I truly feel it adds nothing to my life. I don't feel better, happier, friendlier, or more content, when I drink. I certainly don't drink after a bad day, hard day, long day. I've come to realize that having a beer(or any alcoholic beverage) after a bad day on a consistent basis is alcoholism waiting to happen. People tend to make the worst choices of their lives while under the influence, so what's the draw again??
Both of my parents are alcoholics. This is another reason why I don't touch the stuff. You can tell yourself that the choices you make now won't or don't effect your children, but it's a lie. My parents both think that they are good parents, my parents both think that their drinking doesn't effect anyone else. It's bullshit. My children hardly know who my father is b/c he's never around. He's currently shacked up with some woman in a town 45 minutes from us. He's lived there for over 2 years. I've seen him 3 times. For awhile we didn't know if he was still there or not b/c his phone was disconnected. Then about 2 weeks ago his GIRLFRIEND called my grandmother, and later me. No, my dad didn't call us, his girlfriend did. Talking some BS about he loves us, and cares for us. I called bullshit. I told her if really loved me he'd be calling me himself. Then I got "Oh, but you don't understand" spiel. Whatever. I understand alcohol is more important to him than his daughter and grandchildren. She tried to tell me he talks about us all the time. HA! She shut up when I said, what can he possibly say? He doesn't know us...He's only seen my son Harrison once. He hasn't been around in years. There's nothing to talk about. That was pretty much how we ended it and she hasn't called back, and of course neither has he.
My mother, now she hasn't been an alcoholic my whole life like my dad has. Her drinking didn't start until I was middle teens and never home. So honestly, I didn't notice. I was 18, married and living in a different town before I realized how bad it was. Before my Grannie died, she told she thought that she drank so much b/c it was her coping mechanism for guilt b/c her second husband abused her. I know he did, I was there, and I can even concede that the drinking for awhile afterwords may have been coping drinking. In the first few years after she started drinking heavily she got 2(that I know of DUI's). DUI's that had mandatory counseling involved. Counseling that had she been honest at, could have helped her with these "issues", but she wasn't, so they didn't and look where we are now. Where is that you ask? It's a place where your grandchildren don't want to be around you b/c you smell so bad of beer and cigarettes. It's a place where your grandchildren and children don't want to come to your house b/c you don't clean it b/c your to drunk or too busy getting drunk. It's a place where your children shudder at inviting you to the same place their friends are b/c we never know how you are going to behave when you arrive. Which brings us to today. Misty and I spent the last month planning Ashyra's 5th birthday party. In the beginning stages we contemplated the guest list. Do we want to invite Ashyra's friends from school if we are going to be inviting Mom? We decided that Ashyra would be happier with her Me-ma there(she's still too young to completely grasp the whole situation). So basically we were having a party for only family. Well, on Friday our little sister says she not coming(3rd pregnancy in 3 years), she's not feeling well. However, mom is supposed to pick up her 2 oldest children and bring them. This plan is firmed up on Friday night. Then at 9:15 this morning Misty receives a call from Tiffany who is upset b/c mom says she's not picking up her children to come to the party. Her 4 year old is upset b/c she was excited to come to the party, Tiffany's upset b/c she doesn't understand why mom isn't picking up her children. Misty calls me, I call mom. Turns out mom isn't picking up Tiff's children b/c she isn't coming to the party. She says it's b/c she doesn't have the money. Once again, I call bullshit. Let me tell you why. You know several days before an event if you are going to have the money. If she didn't have the money Saturday at 9 a.m., then she didn't have the money Friday at 5 and should have called then. If she didn't have the money, then why did she tell Elizabeth she'd pick her up this morning? No, she had the money. She was just to hungover. She didn't want to get out of bed early enough to be on the road by 10. She's lazy and selfish. I could tell by the way she was talking to me money wasn't the issue. She wasn't at apologetic, she was just a bitch. So I said, "Maybe if you didn't spend so much money on beer, you could afford to come to your granddaughters birthday party" Then I hung up. I'm done. I'm done with investing my time and my life into relationships where I get no return.
Both my parents know they drink to much and neither of them care. They are to selfish, to wrapped up in themselves to really give a damn about other people. I love them and I always will, however I choose not to to let that toxic behavior into my life anymore.
I don't drink. Not to say I never did, everyone has their wild and crazy days. Honestly, mine were before I was even able to drink legally. Now at the ripe old age of 31, I drink on very rare occasions. I truly feel it adds nothing to my life. I don't feel better, happier, friendlier, or more content, when I drink. I certainly don't drink after a bad day, hard day, long day. I've come to realize that having a beer(or any alcoholic beverage) after a bad day on a consistent basis is alcoholism waiting to happen. People tend to make the worst choices of their lives while under the influence, so what's the draw again??
Both of my parents are alcoholics. This is another reason why I don't touch the stuff. You can tell yourself that the choices you make now won't or don't effect your children, but it's a lie. My parents both think that they are good parents, my parents both think that their drinking doesn't effect anyone else. It's bullshit. My children hardly know who my father is b/c he's never around. He's currently shacked up with some woman in a town 45 minutes from us. He's lived there for over 2 years. I've seen him 3 times. For awhile we didn't know if he was still there or not b/c his phone was disconnected. Then about 2 weeks ago his GIRLFRIEND called my grandmother, and later me. No, my dad didn't call us, his girlfriend did. Talking some BS about he loves us, and cares for us. I called bullshit. I told her if really loved me he'd be calling me himself. Then I got "Oh, but you don't understand" spiel. Whatever. I understand alcohol is more important to him than his daughter and grandchildren. She tried to tell me he talks about us all the time. HA! She shut up when I said, what can he possibly say? He doesn't know us...He's only seen my son Harrison once. He hasn't been around in years. There's nothing to talk about. That was pretty much how we ended it and she hasn't called back, and of course neither has he.
My mother, now she hasn't been an alcoholic my whole life like my dad has. Her drinking didn't start until I was middle teens and never home. So honestly, I didn't notice. I was 18, married and living in a different town before I realized how bad it was. Before my Grannie died, she told she thought that she drank so much b/c it was her coping mechanism for guilt b/c her second husband abused her. I know he did, I was there, and I can even concede that the drinking for awhile afterwords may have been coping drinking. In the first few years after she started drinking heavily she got 2(that I know of DUI's). DUI's that had mandatory counseling involved. Counseling that had she been honest at, could have helped her with these "issues", but she wasn't, so they didn't and look where we are now. Where is that you ask? It's a place where your grandchildren don't want to be around you b/c you smell so bad of beer and cigarettes. It's a place where your grandchildren and children don't want to come to your house b/c you don't clean it b/c your to drunk or too busy getting drunk. It's a place where your children shudder at inviting you to the same place their friends are b/c we never know how you are going to behave when you arrive. Which brings us to today. Misty and I spent the last month planning Ashyra's 5th birthday party. In the beginning stages we contemplated the guest list. Do we want to invite Ashyra's friends from school if we are going to be inviting Mom? We decided that Ashyra would be happier with her Me-ma there(she's still too young to completely grasp the whole situation). So basically we were having a party for only family. Well, on Friday our little sister says she not coming(3rd pregnancy in 3 years), she's not feeling well. However, mom is supposed to pick up her 2 oldest children and bring them. This plan is firmed up on Friday night. Then at 9:15 this morning Misty receives a call from Tiffany who is upset b/c mom says she's not picking up her children to come to the party. Her 4 year old is upset b/c she was excited to come to the party, Tiffany's upset b/c she doesn't understand why mom isn't picking up her children. Misty calls me, I call mom. Turns out mom isn't picking up Tiff's children b/c she isn't coming to the party. She says it's b/c she doesn't have the money. Once again, I call bullshit. Let me tell you why. You know several days before an event if you are going to have the money. If she didn't have the money Saturday at 9 a.m., then she didn't have the money Friday at 5 and should have called then. If she didn't have the money, then why did she tell Elizabeth she'd pick her up this morning? No, she had the money. She was just to hungover. She didn't want to get out of bed early enough to be on the road by 10. She's lazy and selfish. I could tell by the way she was talking to me money wasn't the issue. She wasn't at apologetic, she was just a bitch. So I said, "Maybe if you didn't spend so much money on beer, you could afford to come to your granddaughters birthday party" Then I hung up. I'm done. I'm done with investing my time and my life into relationships where I get no return.
Both my parents know they drink to much and neither of them care. They are to selfish, to wrapped up in themselves to really give a damn about other people. I love them and I always will, however I choose not to to let that toxic behavior into my life anymore.
Sunday, May 23, 2010
Accountability
I don't have time to blog right now, but here's a few topics I wanted to get down before I forget:
My Parent's Alcoholism
Jason's Egg Donor
Good people do bad things
Look for those exciting blogs in the near future!!
My Parent's Alcoholism
Jason's Egg Donor
Good people do bad things
Look for those exciting blogs in the near future!!
Sunday, May 16, 2010
Just for Tara :O)
Now let's see if I can remember all the stuff she asked for....
Harrison's blog, I'll try to get to it tonight...Definitely this week! I promise!
Scrapping- I haven't scrapped in forever. I did like 3 pages a few months ago, but I ended up packing my stuff away and putting in the storage shed. I just didn't have the time.
I don't have any descent before and afters. I've only lost 17lbs., I'm definitely trimmer. Clothes fit better and I can run 4 miles when I couldn't do that in January! I have a LONG way to go though...about 55 lbs and 22 miles. Here's the best(or worst) before I could find. I HATE this picture!
This is me this morning before Church, so it's super recent!
KC- We had fun. It was a whirlwind! Jason picked me up at 3:30, we drove to Kansas City, ate dinner, saw Chelsea, and drove home. It was a fast 11 hours! Chelsea makes me blush on TV, so you can imagine how filthy her live show was. It was pretty bad, not all of it, but some parts made me VERY uncomfortable. On the way home Jason and I played memory ABC. We took turns coming up with a memory for every letter of the alphabet. It was fun to talk about old memories and what each of us remembered.
Harrison's blog, I'll try to get to it tonight...Definitely this week! I promise!
Scrapping- I haven't scrapped in forever. I did like 3 pages a few months ago, but I ended up packing my stuff away and putting in the storage shed. I just didn't have the time.
I don't have any descent before and afters. I've only lost 17lbs., I'm definitely trimmer. Clothes fit better and I can run 4 miles when I couldn't do that in January! I have a LONG way to go though...about 55 lbs and 22 miles. Here's the best(or worst) before I could find. I HATE this picture!
This is me this morning before Church, so it's super recent!
KC- We had fun. It was a whirlwind! Jason picked me up at 3:30, we drove to Kansas City, ate dinner, saw Chelsea, and drove home. It was a fast 11 hours! Chelsea makes me blush on TV, so you can imagine how filthy her live show was. It was pretty bad, not all of it, but some parts made me VERY uncomfortable. On the way home Jason and I played memory ABC. We took turns coming up with a memory for every letter of the alphabet. It was fun to talk about old memories and what each of us remembered.
Saturday, May 15, 2010
You already know everything...
Since I keep my blog so private, and I spend so much time on FB my whopping 5 readers are my friends and already know most everything going on in my life. I'm gonna try and find something to post about to tomorrow. Anyone have any ideas? Any questions? You need answered? Any deatils or follow ups I've slacked on?
Monday, May 10, 2010
Disappointed
Today is a sad day. It's the first time I have been truly disappointed in one my children.
Jonathan cheated on a test.
When I found out I wanted to cry and throw up. I was(and still am) mortified. He is has not met his AR goal for the month. There is a school field trip to the zoo on Friday and he needed AR points to be able to go. So somehow his "friend" took a test on a 12 point book, and then Jonathan followed suite. He took the test, and got a 100%. The sad part is that I was SO proud of him. We get the e-mails at home, and Jason forwarded me the confirmation e-mail from his test showing he received a 100%. Then to get a note sent home about the cheating...it was awful.
Needles to say, he laid in his bed in the fetal position for awful. Then it was time for consequences. Lots of them. He's completely, and totally grounded until the end of school. No phone, no DRC, extra chores, basically he's my slave for the next 17 days.
Jonathan cheated on a test.
When I found out I wanted to cry and throw up. I was(and still am) mortified. He is has not met his AR goal for the month. There is a school field trip to the zoo on Friday and he needed AR points to be able to go. So somehow his "friend" took a test on a 12 point book, and then Jonathan followed suite. He took the test, and got a 100%. The sad part is that I was SO proud of him. We get the e-mails at home, and Jason forwarded me the confirmation e-mail from his test showing he received a 100%. Then to get a note sent home about the cheating...it was awful.
Needles to say, he laid in his bed in the fetal position for awful. Then it was time for consequences. Lots of them. He's completely, and totally grounded until the end of school. No phone, no DRC, extra chores, basically he's my slave for the next 17 days.
Monday, May 03, 2010
Taylor
I suppose it's about time I talked about Taylor. This was the BEST concert I have ever been to. It wasn't just a concert. It was a show. Costumes changes, set changes, all the things that you need to stay entertained for 2 hours and feel satisfied with the money you spent on the tickets!
She had sets for almost every song. This is Tear Drops on my guitar
Check out the set for You Belong with me :O) Pretty Sweet!
Love her so much!
Taylo singing Love Story
Love the dress! Totally dressed the part!
Taylor loves sundresses and cowboy boots
Singing Picture to Burn
Savannah was so overwhelmed she started crying!
She had sets for almost every song. This is Tear Drops on my guitar
Check out the set for You Belong with me :O) Pretty Sweet!
And my personal favorite:
"Shoulda said said No"
She ended the show just like her ACM performance from a few years back
The rain with the word NO in it, and she got in there and sang
It was awesome!
"Shoulda said said No"
She ended the show just like her ACM performance from a few years back
The rain with the word NO in it, and she got in there and sang
It was awesome!
Love her so much!
Sunday, May 02, 2010
You're off the hook, if you wanna be!
I'm transitioning my running babble to new blog. That way if you WANT to read it you can, you don't want to you don't have to. The new blog is:
http://pavement-princess.blogspot.com
This is where I where chronicle all my running woes and wins. So this should go back to being a regular 'ol blog!! I hope!!
http://pavement-princess.blogspot.com
This is where I where chronicle all my running woes and wins. So this should go back to being a regular 'ol blog!! I hope!!
My personal best
I did my personal best at my 5k this morning!! Whoo-hoo! I ran the 5k in 43 mins which is a 13 minute 50 second mile pace. My previous best? 14:30. I'm so excited! More blogging later. Happy Sunday Friends. Don't forget to praise the Good Lord above!!
Saturday, May 01, 2010
My 3rd 5k
And I haven't run(more than a mile and a half) since my 5k last week. I'm going to be HURTING tomorrow morning! Wish me luck!!
Thursday, April 29, 2010
I'm BBBBBBAAAACCCCCKKKKK!
I guess I just needed to whine and get it out of system.
Today I feel GREAT!!
I met my first weight loss goal(and then some!)
I'm in the office alone, got my orange ipod on and I'm jamming to my Tay-Tay. Love that girl
I'm going running tonight
Doing another 5k Sunday
L~O~V~I~N' the good life I lead :O)
Today I feel GREAT!!
I met my first weight loss goal(and then some!)
I'm in the office alone, got my orange ipod on and I'm jamming to my Tay-Tay. Love that girl
I'm going running tonight
Doing another 5k Sunday
L~O~V~I~N' the good life I lead :O)
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
Blah, blah, blah
I'm feeling super funky. No rhyme or reason. Just plum funky. I think work is part of it. I'm super stressed and super busy. Then shit keeps popping into my head. No reason for it. Just pop..pop..pop... I must it admit sometimes i hunt it down. It's hard to stay away though. I must challenge myself to stay away. Hunting it down does NO good. No good I say. It's been frustrating me lately though. Hence the popping into my head and the funky mood. I'd like to run it off, but I don't even feel like running. It's been 2 days since I ran and 4 days since my last long run. I'm going to be hating life after my next 3 miler.
I'm super frustrated with VA too. Seriously, could they please stop fucking with our money?? Oh, and feel free to answer a fucking phone every now and then. I'm ready for Jason to quit school and go back to work. This shit is ridiculous. It really is.
Harrison has turned into a full fledged BRAT. He was totally bullying the kids in the waiting room yesterday. He pushed a girl off a chair and pushed down a boy who was in his way. Good Times I say(very sarcastically) He hits, screams, throws food and is just plain rotten. I swatted him on his bottom last night....and he laughed at me. Ya, he went to bed at 7:03 p.m. I wasn't up for that crap.
I can almost read your mind right now, " oh God, what's wrong with Angel, this is so unlike her". I'm fine. I truly am. Just a TAD on the stressed and frustrated side. Honestly, I even thought about having a drink. I SO don't believe in drinking to make yourself feel better though. That's how alcoholism starts, and since my parents are 2 of the biggest drunks I know. I tend to stay away from the stuff most of the time.
Okay, enough crappy Angel. I think I'm going to go to bed early so I can get up and run in the morning. I have .6 to my goal and it's being very stubborn about coming off, so an extra long run oughta do it.
I'm super frustrated with VA too. Seriously, could they please stop fucking with our money?? Oh, and feel free to answer a fucking phone every now and then. I'm ready for Jason to quit school and go back to work. This shit is ridiculous. It really is.
Harrison has turned into a full fledged BRAT. He was totally bullying the kids in the waiting room yesterday. He pushed a girl off a chair and pushed down a boy who was in his way. Good Times I say(very sarcastically) He hits, screams, throws food and is just plain rotten. I swatted him on his bottom last night....and he laughed at me. Ya, he went to bed at 7:03 p.m. I wasn't up for that crap.
I can almost read your mind right now, " oh God, what's wrong with Angel, this is so unlike her". I'm fine. I truly am. Just a TAD on the stressed and frustrated side. Honestly, I even thought about having a drink. I SO don't believe in drinking to make yourself feel better though. That's how alcoholism starts, and since my parents are 2 of the biggest drunks I know. I tend to stay away from the stuff most of the time.
Okay, enough crappy Angel. I think I'm going to go to bed early so I can get up and run in the morning. I have .6 to my goal and it's being very stubborn about coming off, so an extra long run oughta do it.
Sunday, April 25, 2010
I think I'm getting old
When I'm away from my computer, or at work I think of all these fantastic blogs, and things I want to blog about. When I sit down to do it, I draw a blank.
This week I learned a very important lesson. You have to eat. I had been eating about 1200 calories a day and running 3-4 times a week, yet I was only losing about 1/2 a pound a week and I was getting FRUSTRATED! My plan/goal I had is shot to shit b/c I lost 10-12 lbs the first month and like 2-3 the second. WTF is going on?? I was getting very discouraged. So after a little internet research I discovered I was eating 500 calories less then my body mandated minimum. In layman's terms? I was starving myself. I didn't feel like I was starving, but my body did. Therefore it was latching on it everything I ate. The calories you need are based on your current weight, as you lose weight your caloric need will decrease. I was way under what I needed for survival and the running wasn't helping. Since I have adjusted my calories and kept up the running I've lost a pound. Whoo-hoo! It's not a lot, but it tells me I was doing wrong and now my body is rewarding me for doing right. So hopefully I will start dropping the pounds again. I'm going to have to reevaluate my goals and time line. There is no way I can lose 20 lbs in a month, at least not safely! So I'm going to change my next goal date from June 1st to June 19th. I know it seems like an odd day, but if everything goes as planned that will be the day I run my 1st 8k.
In an effort to help me meet this goal I will be adding strength training to my regimen. Gasp! I HATE strength training. I have the P90X videos. I have only done them once. They represent the 2 things I hate most about exercising, exercising at home and strength training. I know that if I do them they will kick my ass. I truly have to get over that major hurdle of working out at home. I would much rather go to the gym. The problem there is I would only do the machines, which are better than nothing, but not the best way to strength train. So for the sake of my hott(yes I did 2 t's on purpose) bod. I must do the P90X.
I am still trying to decide how to do my runs. I want to start shaving time off. I will still do my distance runs, but I think I will alternate that with short(1 mile) runs for speed only. Today Jason and I did a 1 mile run(with hills! Arg!) in 12:56. Not to shabby. I know I could do it faster if it was a flat run. If I learned anything from yesterday, it's that I can't just run on a flat surface. It's important to change it up. So I'm trying, but it's HARD!
I'm sorry if ya'll are getting bored with nothing but running talk. It's what's going on with me and what is super important to me right now. I will however try to give you a quick run(hahaha) down on the rest of the family since they haven't been mentioned much.
Jason-He is almost done with the semester he's kicking butt in everything but Econ. He'll still pull a B- or C+ in the course. He was hoping for better, but the tests(he says) are the hardest tests he's ever taken. He has already registered for his summer classes. However if he can get into college algebra this summer, they will change a little. Pray he does well on his placement and can get into the summer class. If he doesn't it will add an extra semester to his college career, and we don't want that!!
Jonathan-Is about to be a middle schooler! Next year he will be at the 6th grade center. I'm SOOOO not ready for that. He's a good boy. He does what he's asked, and doesn't lip back much at all. He finished level 4(of 5) swim lessons last week. He's active in "Earth Savers" at school. It's pretty much how it sounds. They do recycling and do things to be more "green". He wants to do it again next year too. As a reward for all their hard work, the club got to go to the zoo on Earth Day. He came home with all sorts of free goodies, and had a great time despite the pouring rain that came down on them!!
Savannah-Is doing much better. I'm still sure she will be the death of me, but my death has been delayed slightly. She's a very needy girl. She needs lots of attention and requires lots of patience. It's hard, very hard. She loves to lay on me and sit on me, and when I try to explain that she's to old/big for that she about melts down. She wants to be 16, but still be 3. It's so annoying and frustrating. It's a daily struggle to be patient and choose my battles.
Harrison- OMG, I love that boy! He is so wonderful. He's getting to the terrible 2's and is becoming more independent. Oh my he's smart. Grammie works with him everyday. He's started to speak in 2-3 word sentences and of course knows what your asking and can respond. He wants to sit at the table very badly. He loves to be a big boy. He "wrestles" with Jason and Jonathan and thinks that is the greatest thing ever.
There's the low down on the family. They are all still alive and kicking :O) Even if I haven't been talking about them much!
This week I learned a very important lesson. You have to eat. I had been eating about 1200 calories a day and running 3-4 times a week, yet I was only losing about 1/2 a pound a week and I was getting FRUSTRATED! My plan/goal I had is shot to shit b/c I lost 10-12 lbs the first month and like 2-3 the second. WTF is going on?? I was getting very discouraged. So after a little internet research I discovered I was eating 500 calories less then my body mandated minimum. In layman's terms? I was starving myself. I didn't feel like I was starving, but my body did. Therefore it was latching on it everything I ate. The calories you need are based on your current weight, as you lose weight your caloric need will decrease. I was way under what I needed for survival and the running wasn't helping. Since I have adjusted my calories and kept up the running I've lost a pound. Whoo-hoo! It's not a lot, but it tells me I was doing wrong and now my body is rewarding me for doing right. So hopefully I will start dropping the pounds again. I'm going to have to reevaluate my goals and time line. There is no way I can lose 20 lbs in a month, at least not safely! So I'm going to change my next goal date from June 1st to June 19th. I know it seems like an odd day, but if everything goes as planned that will be the day I run my 1st 8k.
In an effort to help me meet this goal I will be adding strength training to my regimen. Gasp! I HATE strength training. I have the P90X videos. I have only done them once. They represent the 2 things I hate most about exercising, exercising at home and strength training. I know that if I do them they will kick my ass. I truly have to get over that major hurdle of working out at home. I would much rather go to the gym. The problem there is I would only do the machines, which are better than nothing, but not the best way to strength train. So for the sake of my hott(yes I did 2 t's on purpose) bod. I must do the P90X.
I am still trying to decide how to do my runs. I want to start shaving time off. I will still do my distance runs, but I think I will alternate that with short(1 mile) runs for speed only. Today Jason and I did a 1 mile run(with hills! Arg!) in 12:56. Not to shabby. I know I could do it faster if it was a flat run. If I learned anything from yesterday, it's that I can't just run on a flat surface. It's important to change it up. So I'm trying, but it's HARD!
I'm sorry if ya'll are getting bored with nothing but running talk. It's what's going on with me and what is super important to me right now. I will however try to give you a quick run(hahaha) down on the rest of the family since they haven't been mentioned much.
Jason-He is almost done with the semester he's kicking butt in everything but Econ. He'll still pull a B- or C+ in the course. He was hoping for better, but the tests(he says) are the hardest tests he's ever taken. He has already registered for his summer classes. However if he can get into college algebra this summer, they will change a little. Pray he does well on his placement and can get into the summer class. If he doesn't it will add an extra semester to his college career, and we don't want that!!
Jonathan-Is about to be a middle schooler! Next year he will be at the 6th grade center. I'm SOOOO not ready for that. He's a good boy. He does what he's asked, and doesn't lip back much at all. He finished level 4(of 5) swim lessons last week. He's active in "Earth Savers" at school. It's pretty much how it sounds. They do recycling and do things to be more "green". He wants to do it again next year too. As a reward for all their hard work, the club got to go to the zoo on Earth Day. He came home with all sorts of free goodies, and had a great time despite the pouring rain that came down on them!!
Savannah-Is doing much better. I'm still sure she will be the death of me, but my death has been delayed slightly. She's a very needy girl. She needs lots of attention and requires lots of patience. It's hard, very hard. She loves to lay on me and sit on me, and when I try to explain that she's to old/big for that she about melts down. She wants to be 16, but still be 3. It's so annoying and frustrating. It's a daily struggle to be patient and choose my battles.
Harrison- OMG, I love that boy! He is so wonderful. He's getting to the terrible 2's and is becoming more independent. Oh my he's smart. Grammie works with him everyday. He's started to speak in 2-3 word sentences and of course knows what your asking and can respond. He wants to sit at the table very badly. He loves to be a big boy. He "wrestles" with Jason and Jonathan and thinks that is the greatest thing ever.
There's the low down on the family. They are all still alive and kicking :O) Even if I haven't been talking about them much!
Saturday, April 24, 2010
22 seconds
It seems like not that much time right? Well, in running it's a LIFETIME!! It was the time that I added to my 5k. I'm so disappointed in myself. I started out strong, but the last half was through a golf course. You know what that means? HILLS, and they killed me. I was SOOOO upset with my time. I'm doing my next 5k on May 22. I WILL be shaving at least 3 minutes off my time. I'm going to start running shorter distances for time. I love the distance running, but I've got to step up the runs for speed to. Then I have to kick up the distance too, b/c in June I'm doing an 8K :O)
Thursday, April 22, 2010
I think I'm gonna have to re-evaluate my run schedule. My body is NOT ok with everyday runs. At least 3 mile everyday runs. So I think I'm going to do 3 miles every other day. I would rather do less and stay healthy(no injuries)rather than push it, hurt myself and not be able to run for weeks(or worse).
The kids finished swim lessons tonight. Thank God! That will help cut down our running around schedule. It's just to much sometimes. The summer should be pretty slow. Jason is taking 2 classes, the kids will be going to day camp to the Rec center and Harrison will be hanging out with his GG :O) I'm ready for LAZY days! Well, as lazy as they can be!
Work has been insanely crazy busy. 90 hours on this paycheck. Wish I could have had it all. Stupid VA. I'm so sick of them jacking with our benefits. I'm SOOOO thankful that Jason didn't stay in and get injured or worse. If this is the way they treat us, I can only fathom the horrible treatment the disabled vets get. It's amazing how much they jack with our pay, don't answer the phones, or just plain don't know what the HELL is going on!
The kids finished swim lessons tonight. Thank God! That will help cut down our running around schedule. It's just to much sometimes. The summer should be pretty slow. Jason is taking 2 classes, the kids will be going to day camp to the Rec center and Harrison will be hanging out with his GG :O) I'm ready for LAZY days! Well, as lazy as they can be!
Work has been insanely crazy busy. 90 hours on this paycheck. Wish I could have had it all. Stupid VA. I'm so sick of them jacking with our benefits. I'm SOOOO thankful that Jason didn't stay in and get injured or worse. If this is the way they treat us, I can only fathom the horrible treatment the disabled vets get. It's amazing how much they jack with our pay, don't answer the phones, or just plain don't know what the HELL is going on!
Sunday, April 18, 2010
Hmmmm....
So what do you wanna know?
I only ran twice this this week :O( I will never take 3 days off between runs again! That second run hurt!! My goal is to run 15 miles PER WEEK! Kinda sounds like a lot, but it's only 3 miles a day 5 days a week. Which is totally doable. IF I HAVE TIME! So, I'm going to get up in the AM and go running. That way I can do P90X at night. I need to add strength training to my work out. My cardio and reduced calories are not getting me where I want to me as fast as I want to get there. I have 21 lbs to lose by June 1 for my first goal. Then another 36 lbs by Oct. 13 for goal #2. So 58 lbs more to lose, and I've already lost 14. Agh. I know the slower it comes of the more likely it is to stay off, at least that's what I what I tell myself to keep going :O)
What else?
We went to see a HORRIBLE play last night. I'll be so glad when Jason is out of theater class. I also found out last night that Jason's mother is FB friends with the MOST awful, horrible person in the world! Ya, you know the one. She's SO awful. What kind of mother is she? A Terrible one, for sure! It bothers me more than Jason. He wrote her off a long time ago!! She's sick in the head.
Hmmmm.... I wish I had more for you. But right now I don't :O( Work and running. That sums me up right now. What's up with you??
I only ran twice this this week :O( I will never take 3 days off between runs again! That second run hurt!! My goal is to run 15 miles PER WEEK! Kinda sounds like a lot, but it's only 3 miles a day 5 days a week. Which is totally doable. IF I HAVE TIME! So, I'm going to get up in the AM and go running. That way I can do P90X at night. I need to add strength training to my work out. My cardio and reduced calories are not getting me where I want to me as fast as I want to get there. I have 21 lbs to lose by June 1 for my first goal. Then another 36 lbs by Oct. 13 for goal #2. So 58 lbs more to lose, and I've already lost 14. Agh. I know the slower it comes of the more likely it is to stay off, at least that's what I what I tell myself to keep going :O)
What else?
We went to see a HORRIBLE play last night. I'll be so glad when Jason is out of theater class. I also found out last night that Jason's mother is FB friends with the MOST awful, horrible person in the world! Ya, you know the one. She's SO awful. What kind of mother is she? A Terrible one, for sure! It bothers me more than Jason. He wrote her off a long time ago!! She's sick in the head.
Hmmmm.... I wish I had more for you. But right now I don't :O( Work and running. That sums me up right now. What's up with you??
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
Sunday, April 11, 2010
My first 5K!!
Nothing feels as good as accomplishing a goal!! Especially a goal that once seemed completely and totally unattainable. I started the Couch to 5K program on January 18th. It took me slightly longer than the slated 9 weeks to finish the program. I'm OK with that, the end result is the same. I completed a 5k! I never would have believed in January I'd actually be running a 5k. It's truly an amazing feeling
Our official end times were 44:36.7 and 44:35.9
Which mean we ran a 14 minute 30 second mile.
Very pleased with that.
I accomplished my 2 main goals which were to FINISH and RUN the entire race. I also had 2 minor goals that I didn't share b/c I was afraid I was going to put to much pressure on my myself for my first race. Those 2 goals were to NOT be last & to finish in under 45 minutes. I accomplished both of those as well! So happy.
Tomorrow Jason and I are starting P90X. It's a crazy intense strength training work out that is supposed to take you from flab to fab 90 days. We'll see.... I'll be honest and say I DO NOT want to do it. Jason wants to do it and me being the supportive, loving wife that I am have agreed to torture myself as well! So I will be doing that 3 days a week, running 2-3 miles 3 days a week, AND doing side runs with Savannah. Why side runs with Savannah? Jason and I have decided we want to do a 5k as a family. Savannah asked me to train her(thank God for children who think their parents are great at everything!!) All of that activity should keep me plenty active and get me to my goal weight by June 1st and hopefully my 2nd goal weight by Oct 13th.
This is my bib :O) Jason had to tell me what the F31 was for(Female, 31 yrs)
Jen and I before our run. I'm proud to say I wasn't near as nervous as I thought I'd be.
And about an hour later, after our run. I like this picture better b/c we have color in cheeks :O)
We finished 85 and 86 out of 106 people. Not bad at all
Our official end times were 44:36.7 and 44:35.9
Which mean we ran a 14 minute 30 second mile.
Very pleased with that.
I accomplished my 2 main goals which were to FINISH and RUN the entire race. I also had 2 minor goals that I didn't share b/c I was afraid I was going to put to much pressure on my myself for my first race. Those 2 goals were to NOT be last & to finish in under 45 minutes. I accomplished both of those as well! So happy. Tomorrow Jason and I are starting P90X. It's a crazy intense strength training work out that is supposed to take you from flab to fab 90 days. We'll see.... I'll be honest and say I DO NOT want to do it. Jason wants to do it and me being the supportive, loving wife that I am have agreed to torture myself as well! So I will be doing that 3 days a week, running 2-3 miles 3 days a week, AND doing side runs with Savannah. Why side runs with Savannah? Jason and I have decided we want to do a 5k as a family. Savannah asked me to train her(thank God for children who think their parents are great at everything!!) All of that activity should keep me plenty active and get me to my goal weight by June 1st and hopefully my 2nd goal weight by Oct 13th.
Monday, April 05, 2010
I bet you're on the edge of your seats....
waiting for an update of my oh, so glorious life!
I've been BUSY! I don't quite remember last week. Everyday at work was non-stop. Throw in a sick baby, and a date with a mega star and WOW, what a week! I will do a post dedicated to Taylor sometime this week, b/c she deserves her own post. She is awesomer than awesome. I heart her more now, then I did last week, and I never would have that thought possible!
My life pretty much revolves around my running. I love it. I can't believe that I'm 50 lbs overweight and running 2-2.5 miles on a consistent basis. Me and my 14 minute mile kick ass! My first 5k is this weekend. I haven't actually ran 3.2 miles yet. 2.49 is my max so far, I would like to get up to 3 miles before Wednesday, since I won't run Thursday or Friday. We'll see. I only have 2 goals for this race:
1. Finish it
2.Run it all
I don't care if I'm dead last, if I run it and I finish it, I'll be happy as a clam!!
Next month is a 2mile and a 10k here in Wichita. No, I'm not doing a 10k..yet! I'm going to train to start shaving minutes off my time. I'm thinking 2miles in 25 minutes...something like that.
Work has been so incredibility busy! This first time home buyers and move up tax credit has home buyers coming out of the wood work! We have people selling, then buying with the upgrade. It's GREAT for business, but Lordy I stay busy!!! In May I'm going to Real Estate school. I'm constantly writing contracts, negotiating contracts, writing amendments, negotiating repairs, all sorts of things I'm technically not supposed to do, soon I will be official though! I'll be able to sell on the side, and pick up the over flow from our uber busy office and make money a little extra money too! I truly love what I do. I really like Real Estate. I love the people I work with and for. They are like family. I'm sooooo blessed to have the awesome job that I do.
I've been BUSY! I don't quite remember last week. Everyday at work was non-stop. Throw in a sick baby, and a date with a mega star and WOW, what a week! I will do a post dedicated to Taylor sometime this week, b/c she deserves her own post. She is awesomer than awesome. I heart her more now, then I did last week, and I never would have that thought possible!
My life pretty much revolves around my running. I love it. I can't believe that I'm 50 lbs overweight and running 2-2.5 miles on a consistent basis. Me and my 14 minute mile kick ass! My first 5k is this weekend. I haven't actually ran 3.2 miles yet. 2.49 is my max so far, I would like to get up to 3 miles before Wednesday, since I won't run Thursday or Friday. We'll see. I only have 2 goals for this race:
1. Finish it
2.Run it all
I don't care if I'm dead last, if I run it and I finish it, I'll be happy as a clam!!
Next month is a 2mile and a 10k here in Wichita. No, I'm not doing a 10k..yet! I'm going to train to start shaving minutes off my time. I'm thinking 2miles in 25 minutes...something like that.
Work has been so incredibility busy! This first time home buyers and move up tax credit has home buyers coming out of the wood work! We have people selling, then buying with the upgrade. It's GREAT for business, but Lordy I stay busy!!! In May I'm going to Real Estate school. I'm constantly writing contracts, negotiating contracts, writing amendments, negotiating repairs, all sorts of things I'm technically not supposed to do, soon I will be official though! I'll be able to sell on the side, and pick up the over flow from our uber busy office and make money a little extra money too! I truly love what I do. I really like Real Estate. I love the people I work with and for. They are like family. I'm sooooo blessed to have the awesome job that I do.
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